I’ll be at Best Buy in Northgate tonight starting at 6 with these guys. They kick ass. You should come check them out.

Happy Friday.

We received an email from Patrick in need of advice. He got a request from an ex-girlfriend to go out to lunch with him now that she is living in Seattle again. The only thing is that he’s currently married. According to Patrick’s email, his wife is alright with him going, but his sister says that his wife is simply trying to appear “cool” but she’s really not fine about it.

Look, its one thing to be cordial, but to sit there and have regular communications with an ex is another thing; I just think it’s disrespectful.

As a man, why do you need to be around more than one woman anyways? Women can seem very complicated to us, so why would you want more of them in your life if you already have a wife?

My guess is that either Patrick, his ex, or both are hoping something will spark up again, even if they won’t admit it. That is the only logical explanation. Why else would he want the company of other women?

I don’t need to go to lunch with women or hang out with them because there is no benefit for me. If I wanted to spend time with a woman, I will go home to my wife.

This morning I shared that my ringtone is of me doing that awful bear impression…after I played the sound effect, we received a ton of requests for the audio…here is a link of that audio:

http://www2.kisw.com/sites/default/files/audio/STP-Bear.mp3

If you can’t hear it here, go to this link to get this audio & other fun bits from the show:  http://www2.kisw.com/listen/category/Show+Bits/  

BJ was on some sort of rant about bicyclists and he said that since he pays taxes, he owns the roads…I goofed on him, and then he said that I too, Steve The Producer, own the roads…if that is the case…I would like to re-name a road I use all the time. From now on…Meridian in Puyallup is going to be called “STEVE.” Not Steve Ave, Steve Way, or even Steve Road…just plain old Steve. I could hear it in my head now: “I get off on Steve every day in order to get home”…”Steve is a real bitch today”…you get the idea…hell, I know you get the idea because of the tons of texts we got from people now referring to Meridian as STEVE….here are a few examples:

I drive a dump truck and just dropped my load on Steve

I bought my bed at the sleep country by 176th and Steve

There is always so many different ppl going up and down on steve

Steves road is really jam packed. cant seem to get off steve. Haha

Just saw a bum on steve

Isn’t Steve that over used, run down old, rutted, dirt road, that’s never cleaned up?

Theres a ton of hookers working on Steve

There is always construction workers on steve

I was on Steve the other night and was thinking about STP

Too bad theres not a train track on meridian.. We could run a train on steve haha.

I got rear-ended on steve

My car broke down in Steves turn lane.haha.i hate meridian in puyallup.Zane from Covington

There’s a massive pile-up on Steve!

Get off on steve. The go down on steve till you dee the safeway then turn right

To many stop & go’s on steve

Steve sucks! (Road)

I do my best to avoid steve when im driving

I drive on Steve every day

Another reason to hate steve

It’s so hard to stay straight when Steve gets wet while I’m riding on him

I love going up and down on steve, so i do it all day

Just passed a construction crew laying pipe on steve

Steve has a beef outlet!

My wife is smoking a fat one on steve

Why are there so many skid marks on steve?

I just got plowed while on steve

If it gets cold we’ll break out the studs and chains on steve

My dog just took a dump on Steve. Love Awesome

Some parts of Steve need some landscaping.

The Show almost started with BJ complaining about his Red Sox losing out on a playoff spot in the final game of the year…fortunately we were able to get him off that ledge….yesterday we counted at least 8 mentions during the show, and some were not short mentions!!!! This text is awesome:

For bj wht do the redsox and christy canyon have in common? they both choke on the big one

A team from Goldsmiths University in London created a formula to figure out the catchiest pop songs of all time. The formula analyzed everything from the pitch and harmony to the length and complexity of the musical phrasing and the quality of the singing. Based on this criteria…”We are the Champions” by Queen is the catchiest pop song of all time.

YMCA” by the Village People was second, and NO, I’m not posting the video sorry.

“Fat Lip” by SUM 41 was third…I’ve always loved this song!

“The Final Countdown” by EUROPE was fourth…

At number five is a song called “The Monster” by The Automatic…not familiar with it? Neither were we….

What would you put on the list. What is that one song that once you hear it, you can’t get it out of your head? Here are the texts we got:

Garth brooks friends in low places should be on the list. Craig on the i-5

Anything by Weird Al and Boston Red Sox SUCK!!! GO YANKEES

Cars by gary neuman. Gets stuck every time

Baby got back

Eye of the tiger should definitely be in the top 5 catchiest songs

Undone, The sweater song by weezer

How about “who let the dogs out” or “i get knocked down” by chumbawamba

Fight for your right to party by the beastie boys. Bryan in Puyallup

Whip it by devo bim in burien

Journey, dont stop believing from will in bothell

White snake here we go again

peanut butter jelly time – lucy the producer

Carry on wayward son. Kansas

Pour some sugar on me

Rebecca blacks Friday… and you guys suck for playing it

Acdc’s you shook me all night

What about Billy Idol Money Money?

Particle man by they might be giants

My darkest days. Porn star dancing.

Peaches by the presidents

Not sure what the song is called…. And I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more

Bloodhound Gang – bad touch

Today’s Video Blog features the guys beating me up because of a funny picture I took of my pup, Lucy!

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users.

“Hola,

So, regular season for Major League Baseball came to a close last night in dramatic fashion.  If you’re a Boston Red Sox fan it’s likely that your screams of frustration drowned out the hacking sounds of your team choking.  The sox had to win their game against the hapless Orioles, even had a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the 9th inning, but found a way to lose 4-3.  Did I mention that they were one out away from victory when they choked?  Granted, they also needed the Tampa Rays to lose to the Yankees, and when they Yanks were leading 7-0, things were looking good for the Sox nation.  Imagine their surprise when the Rays chipped away at the Yankees lead, took them to extra innings and walked away with an 8-7 win.  Yea, the Red Sox pretty much blew a sure thing.  It happens to the best of us.  Maybe you had a cushy job but got busted smoking in the bathroom, or the cops were about to let you go when your bag of weed fell out of your pocket or you were excited to propose to your girlfriend but she found the love letters you kept from your previous squeeze… there are just so many ways to screw up an otherwise stable situation.  WHEN DID YOU COMPLETELY BLOW IT?

I have far too many examples to even begin answering this, so I won’t.  As for you:

Super- hot blonde wanted to take him back to her hotel room and get down- right freaky.  He got drunk on Seagram’s 7 and passed out in the bed of his pickup truck.

Had a chance to get some booty LAST NIGHT but turned it down because he had to get up early today… so the f**k what?!?  You were gonna get up early today ANYWAY, so why turn down the buttocks?  I’m disappointed

Got hammered on his prom night… got hammered and his date went home with 2 other guys

Went to propose to his girlfriend, said “Kelly, will you marry me?”  Her name is Erica

Blew it when he said “I do”

Met a really hot chick at a bar on his birthday.  She told him that she was going back to her hotel room (wink- wink) and he said “OK, have a good night”.  A few minutes later he realized the error of his ways

Was at school denying that he was smoking pot… everything was going well until he belched a cloud of smoke

Got to meet Wayne Gretzky when he 10… then he puked buttered noodles on him

Crashed 2 cars into each other (a Land Rover and a Mercedes) while working as a valet… lost his job 7 minutes later

Slept with an “ugly Russian” guy and got herpes

When she was 6- years- old, she found her mother’s douche… started using it as a water bottle

FARTS
I’m notorious for my farting prowess and willingness to share my flatulence with whomever is in my vicinity.  Well, today I was particularly gassy and my biscuits were he harbingers of a stink that was indescribable.  Anyway, I was lighting it up the studio today, much to the chagrin of Miles, and the haters came out of the woodwork.  Never knew that farts inspired so much hostility.  People were angry, disgusted, calling me names, etc.  That being said, some people enjoy the farts, some really, really resent it and wanted to kill me.  Very strange that farts could cause so much controversy.  I’m proud.

OK bitches, we’re outta here until Monday.  Have a good weekend!

Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

    What up blogger? Sunny day today out there. It’s funny I went to the Husky game last Saturday and people were bitching because it was too hot for them in the stands and I just laughed because in a couple months everyone is going to wish that weather was here. Anyhow the game was fun and I will be going to a couple of them this year and I want to feel free to shoot me a email and let me know where you are tailgating and I will put you in one of my adventure video’s. Also I will bring some beer since I don’t want to be a mooch.

    So last night was the greatest night in baseball that I have seen in my lifetime. The drama was unreal and teams were just falling apart. The Braves had already given up a huge lead in the playoff picture this month and last night they seemed defeated from about the 5th inning on. At the same time this month the Redsox have been chokeing as well and last night they lost to the O’s in the bottom of the 9th inning. As soon as ESPN could switch over to the Rays game BOOM a home run and pure and simple the Redsox are out and the Rays are in. I can’t say this enough but it was the greatest night of baseball in my lifetime hands down. Nice job baseball

No matter what happens, you’ll never be this cool. Unless of course you’re a woman and shotgun beers when you’re 80. Otherwise – No chance.

What can I say? I’ve always laughed seeing this in Spain but for it to actually be in Seattle, I had to do it! I had to lose my mind for awhile to actually think I was going to go into a 300,000lb tomato battle and video the chaos at the Pyramid Alehouse across from Safeco Field last Saturday! I’m gonna let this 16min video do all the talking! I document the pre-fight buildup then go into the war zone for some hilarious coverage! Thanks to Super Geek League for the haz-mat suit! They put on one hell of a performance after wards for those that braved getting a little dried and crusty. Let me tell ya, that sweet ripe/rotten smell is still stuck in my nose…HA!! Add the Super Geek League confetti and it was an interesting shower of stuff in the shower drain filter HA HA!! Check out http://www.tomatobattle.com for future city fighting and more info!

PS: Did I tell ya I hate tomatoes??

Yesterday I read what was not only the quote of the day, but could possibly be quote of the year.

Melissa Minarsich, a 28-year-old woman from Iowa, wanted to have sex with her boyfriend earlier this week but when he turned her down, she started punching him!

He wasn’t hurt but the police still showed up and that’s when she explained why she got upset and turned violent. Melissa said, “ALL I WANTED WAS A PIECE OF ASS, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?”

Melissa was arrested for misdemeanor domestic assault, which unsurprisingly is not the first time she has been arrested for that.

As an added bonus, Melissa and her boyfriend have an 8-month daughter together!

Some would ask why would any man turn down sex, but we men know there are some women out there that, because of their personality, can turn you off completely. I would not be surprised if Melissa’s boyfriend was turned off by her because she has no problem throwing punches around.

I would like to say this, imagine if this was the other way around and it was Melissa’s boyfriend who punched her and said, “Hey, I only wanted a piece of ass!” He would be vilified! Can you believe that a woman, in this day and age, could utter something like that?

It is unbelievable to me that after the feminist movement and us men being told what we can and can’t do anymore, that they have no problem doing what they claim we shouldn’t do in the first place to them!

You’ve really come a long way ladies.

Shocking that this was eating BJ alive this morning, but BJ was in a funk because his team, The Boston Red Sox had an epic collapse this season and failed to get in the playoffs in the final game of the season yesterday. I read that on September 3rd…the Red Sox had a 9 game lead on the Rays & that meant that statistically they had a 99.6 chance of making the playoffs. I’m no mathematician, but that’s a nearly 100% shot of going into the second season…well here we are on September 29th, and the Red Sox fell a part & it all boiled down to yesterday as they were tied for the wild card with the Rays…if they both won or lost yesterday, they would have to play a 1 game playoff to get in, and if one team won & the other lost…the winning team would go on, and that is what happened…as the Rays were down 7-0 to the Yankees, and came back to win…and Sox were up 3-2 over the Orioles & lost in the last inning! The same thing pretty much happened in the National League…The Cardinals were way behind the Braves in the playoff hunt…the Cards had a huge past month, and yesterday they beat out the Braves for the wild card spot. BJ was not happy today, and his blame was on the Yankees for not beating the Rays by bringing in Mariano Rivera to close the game & win…this puzzled me…his frustration was with a team that already clinched a spot in the playoffs, and did their job in the regular season…as opposed to blaming his team for “S”ing the bed in the last month!

Ok enough sports…oh wait… have another great story that kind of involves sports. The Detroit Lions have started off their season with a bang…going 3-0, and it looks like their fans started their season off with a bang too…there would be a mobile strip club that would show up to the games for the tailgaters to enjoy! Wow, how great is that!!!! It’s called the “Booty Lounge”, it’s a big bus with 2 stages with poles (of course)…smoke machines…lights…music…and the very necessary tinted windows. It costs 10 bucks to go in the bus, and police just shut it down! That’s too bad!!!! Dreamgirls needs to do that…they could pick guys up while tailgating….and so long as they pay for dances, they get a free trip to Dreamgirls, which is next door to Safeco Field. Only I would call the bus “Tight Ends” or “Punters” or something high brow like that.

In a new survey, 72% of men said they could handle very basic home repair or improvement stuff, but for anything that requires even slight skill…like replacing a broken tile . . . they’d call in a professional. 40% of men say they either can’t do anything around the home or they probably could, but they’d choose to call a handyman anyway. 14% of men say that their pride won’t let them call a repairman…no matter how unqualified they are to make the repairs themselves. Changing a fuse is the task that the most men believe they can do, at 70%. Stripping wallpaper and painting the house tied for second, at 61%…fitting a curtain rod is fourth, at 53%…and unclogging a toilet is fifth, at 51%. Installing a brand new kitchen is the skill the fewest men believe they have, at 14%…laying new carpet or putting up a deck tied for second-fewest, at 22% …installing a sink, laying vinyl floor, and removing a radiator tied for fourth, at 24%.

BJ, Toppy, and I all admitted none of us are Bob Villa or Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor…and are not Mr. Home Improvement… this led to a few texts:

You guys are a bunch of girls

bj I don’t know if your dad had a tool shed but I know your parents adopted 1

I remodeled my whole bathroom. Mostly by myself. The rest, my boyfriend did. *Heather

Thats sad. Im 34 and I can fix all things around my house.

I can’t fix much around the house but I have a large tool that I like to use often

My dad was handy too, he always said “if you pay attention to what they do, u only gotta hire someone once”

Based on this…what’s your home improvement horror story…when did you or someone you know try and fix something around the house, and it went horribly wrong?

My dada tried to rewire the plumbing and ended up flooding the downstairs

Tried to fix a clogged garbage disposal. The next day it literally fell out when I was doing dishes spewing ground up veggies and water all over my legs

A water pipe burst somewhere in our front yard. My mr fixit dad wanted to fix it himself, ended up digging up the entire front yard leaving us no water for a month

I tried building a grow room in my attic and fell through the ceiling

I installed heaters in my bathrooms and mistakenly wired them for the wrong voltage. They caught fire shortly after I left for work. The wife was pissed.

Hung cabinets in utility room. At around 11:00 that night noticed carpet in hall was soaked. Put a screw into a water pipe!

Big thanks to Demitri Martin for joining us…he’s a funny dude! Who is Demetri…I love his bio…it explains it all: Demetri Martin is an award-winning comedian who is best known for his Comedy Central show, Important Things with Demetri Martin, as well as his stand-up comedy routines and contributions to The Daily Show. Also, he is a person. He has brown hair and is allergic to peanuts. He lives in an apartment somewhere.

Demetri reminds me a little of the late great Mitch Hedberg in the way he writes jokes. For instance:

“I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there’s a donkey with some pizzazz. Let’s kick its ass. What I’m trying to say is, don’t make the same Halloween costume mistake that I did.”

Demetri is going to be at The Neptune Theater tomorrow night & Friday night…get tix at www.stgpresents.org. He was recently on Conan, and I love the segment with his drawings:

Twelve new shows premiered last week. “2 Broke Girls” did the best. It hit #4 in the ratings with 19.4 million viewers, thanks in large part to its lead-in from “Two and a Half Men”. “The Playboy Club” did the worst of the new shows, with just 5 million. Here’s a quick look at how each of the new series performed:

–”2 Broke Girls” . . . 19.4 million viewers . . . Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs play two waitresses who open a cupcake shop.

–”Unforgettable” . . . 14.1 million viewers . . . This one stars Poppy Montgomery as a cop with the ability to recall every detail of everything she’s ever seen.

–”Person of Interest” . . . 13.3 million viewers . . . Jim Caviezel plays a former CIA agent hired by “Lost’s” Michael Emerson to prevent crimes before they happen.

–”The X Factor” . . . 12.5 million people watched Simon Cowell’s new show

–”Pan Am” . . . 10.9 million viewers . . . Christina Ricci plays a stewardess in the ’60s.

–”Revenge” . . . 10.2 million viewers . . . “Brothers & Sisters” minx Emily VanCamp plots against her father’s enemies in the Hamptons.

–”New Girl” . . . 10.1 million viewers . . . Zooey Deschanel moves in with three guys.

–”A Gifted Man” . . . 9.31 million viewers . . . Patrick Wilson is a neurosurgeon who sees his dead wife.

–”Charlie’s Angels” . . . 8.7 million viewers . . . Minka Kelly, Rachael Taylor, and Annie Ilonzeh are the angels, and Victor Garber is the voice of Charlie.

–”Whitney” . . . 6.7 million viewers . . . Whitney Cummings’ sitcom.

–”Prime Suspect” . . . 5.99 million viewers . . . Maria Bello is a homicide detective.

–”The Playboy Club” . . . 5 million viewers . . . Eddie Cibrian helps Amber Heard cover up the fact that she killed the mob boss who tried to rape her.

Today’s Video Blog features BJ complaining about the Red Sox losing last night!

Here is the same Vlog for you iPHONE people: