On my way down to California last weekend I was scrolling through my iPod to find something to jam on to help kill the time while driving. I came across this band I uploaded a few months ago called “Archspire.” I figured “What the Hell, I may as well see what these guys are all about.” After listening to them for one minute, I found myself unprepared and enamored by the sheer speed and brutality that possessed my eardrums. The album brought to mind bands like Spawn of Possession, The Faceless, Necrophagist and other technical death metal bands. After snapping out of my metal trance, I realized I was pushing the van more than 80 miles per hour and hadn’t even noticed because of the music.

Vancouver, B.C. natives, the technical death metal band Archspire released “All Shall Align” on Trendkill Recordings in April of this year. The 7 track album reaches new heights of speed and technicality while still maintaining a sense of melody, even through intense instrumentation. Each member of this band holds an amazing amount of skill, which shines through on each of the album’s tracks.

The album opens up with “Deathless Ringing,” my favorite track on the record. The riffs reminded me of Origin – lots of blast beating and fast riffing. Over the brutal riffing, vocalist Oli Peter’s delivers a mid-range growl with back up high screeches from bassist Jaron Evil which gives a truly wicked sound. The song doesn’t stick to this formula though, but goes into parts that seem almost to soothe the ears. During the buildup to the solo, the guitars take a break from constant riffing, and Jaron fills in those spots with smooth bass lines. The guitar solo isn’t sporadic, but is definitely insane in its own way. The melody of the solo is super catchy and really gives the listener a nice break from the intensity of the music. After that, it takes you right back to the amount of brutal vibes this band gives off.

The next track, “Archspire,” features excellent use of bells and cymbals, really showing that drummer Spencer Prewett can do more than fast double bass and blasting. Obviously his forte is slamming the skins hard and fast like a rabbit in heat, but it is refreshing to hear the diversity that he shows. Also featured on this track is a clean and ambient guitar part, giving the song an eerie vibe. The listener is then growled back to the music by the thundering bass.

Through the rest of the album, each instrument is very present in the mix which is surprising as usually the bass is the unsung hero in these types of bands. Instead, at times, the bass is almost the driving factor of the riff, which in a genre that is dominated by the talent of the guitarists and drummers, it is nice to hear the bass spearheading the charge. “All Shall Align” keeps you listening to every track because you never really know what will come next. Whether it is dazzling drum parts, driving bass, or laser fast guitar riffs, it keeps your eardrums entertained.

The album ends with the title track “All Shall Align,” an instrumental, which utilizes orchestral sounds to give an epic end to the CD. It reminded me of Dimmu Borgir, as it’s a cleaner sounding black metal influenced track.

A complaint people may have with this album is that there are no “short” tracks. They aren’t extreme epic 12 minute long songs, but you won’t find any 2 minute thrash tracks. Each song is fast, but they like to take the listener to different places and it takes time to build up to get to where they’re going. Sometimes the places are a little too awkward, as some of the guitar effects seemed a little odd to me.

A fair warning: this album is intense. I can’t imagine it would be ideal if you are trying to smoke a bowl and relax. You may find yourself wide-eyed and unsure how to handle yourself.

Overall, I am extremely excited for whatever this band does next. Since they are just across the Washington border, I hope they will come down and play a show or two. If they do, you can definitely catch me in the pit.

4.5/5.

Until next time, HORNS

John “The Jabroni” Intern

    What up blogger? Now since Miles read my last blog on the air and did not read the begging right. Remember the what up blogger is a 50 cent thing. Like that song what up gangsta. Anyhow hopefully you get it. I am happy to be blogging today since it is Friday and the sun is out. I am about to go home and drink some beers and enjoy this sunshine. A quick reminder that if you up in the Everett area tomorrow come on down to the Aquasox game where I will be throwing out the first pitch.

    Now onto the point of this blog. I sometimes kind of forget that the X games on ESPN are really good. The ramps the guys are useing now and crazy, well more insanse than crazy. Its unreal what they can do. Last night I was watching guys doing double and almost triple flips on a BMX bike and it was off a monster ramp. I mean huge this ramp was huge. No also i have to talk about Travis pastrana and what he is doing this weekend. He is competeiong tonight in the X games then drinving in a Nationwide seris race on Saturday and then back to the X games on Sunday to race rally cars. What does that guy not do? The only thing he might not do is live much longer at this rate but damn I respect that guy and the chances he takes. it is unreal. Do your thing Travis and you da man. Have a good weekend ya’ll

“Hola,

Remember Crystal Harris?  She’s the 25 year old gold- digger woman and Playboy centerfold who ditched Hugh Hefner five days before their scheduled wedding this past June.  Earlier this week, Crystal was on Howard Stern’s show where she claimed Hugh lasted “like two seconds in bed”.  Two seconds.  She also said that she’d never seen Hugh naked (which I imagine to be a GOOD thing) and that in the two years they were together, they only had sex that one time… for two seconds.  Naturally, Hugh immediately defended himself and said that none of it was true.  Whateva!  On the other end of the spectrum is Enrique Iglesias.  This past Tuesday he was performing in Melbourne, Australia.  For reasons we cannot explain, and choose not to speculate about, Enrique announced to the crowd, “I have the smallest penis in the world.  I’m serious.”  (???)  Then he brought a few random guys on stage and talked about their sex lives.  At that point, he confessed that he finishes quickly in the sack.  We can only assume he’s telling the truth because when most men lie about their d*cks and their ‘expertise’ in the bedroom, we go bigger and longer.  This what we wanna know:  WHAT UNFLATTERING THING COULD AN EX SAY ABOUT YOU THAT YOU KNOW TO BE TRUE?

Has Brooke- Spiegler disease… it’s too difficult to explain, so here’s a link to freak you out.

Yea, sorry about that.  Believe it or not, he has 5 kids, so someone doesn’t mind

He shoot snot- rockets in the shower but doesn’t clean them, leaving the tiled walls covered in a boog- crust

Rarely “finishes”… that sucks

Has a third nipple… we THINK!  He has ‘something’ grow in the middle of his chest in his 20’s but he doesn’t know if it’s a cyst or a nipple.  Take a look at the picture and decide for yourself

His feet stink, but bad enough that he’s above and beyond your normal human

Quick in the sack unless he’s on percs… the question is; is it better to last 90 seconds or 2 hours?

Can’t say no to drinks… don’t sweat it, my brother, neither can I… as a result, I had a child and she’s awesome, so lots of booze + sex = a beautiful child.

He gets too clingy… what’s up with that?

She snores… no big deal, EVERYONE snores, but she ups the ante by drooling profusely

Suffers from Behcet’s disease. Just Google it if you want….you don’t want.  Sorry about that too!

Has bad table manners, so bad that it’s “leave him worthy”

Occasionally farts during sex… while I find it funny, I can see why a woman might not like it

He admits that he cares more about drugs than women

Wears too much cologne

Sleep walks and sleep talks… both sound very annoying

She eats a lot without getting fat, and that is good, but as a result of her constant eating she’s also constantly farting… are we related?

Only showers once a week… he’s autistic and doesn’t like the feel of water on his face.  Yea, well, I hate paying bills, but…

Admits that she’s a lousy lay… yea, but like burnt bacon, it’s still sex

OK bitches, I’ve gotta split.  Have ‘special, secret’ meeting tonight after work, and gotta prepare for tomorrow.  Going to Soundgarden at the Gorge tomorrow so the wife and I need to get our camping crap together.  If you’re going to Soundgarden… and you damn well should be… I might not see you, but you’ll see me.  I‘ll be the black guy.

Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

24-year-old Julian Alfred Young got fired from The Wallingford Boys and Girls Club, and is in legal trouble after he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old girl whom he met at the club.

Julian has been charged with first-degree sexual misconduct with a minor (he was not charged with rape because of the girl’s age).

I am so tired of the phrases they are using to label situations because they don’t seem to fit the actions. The only reason they are charging Julian with first-degree sexual misconduct with a minor is because she is 16 and of legal age of consent in this state and they couldn’t peg him for rape.

I do understand however, and have no problem with the Boys and Girls Club’s decision to fire him. A work place has the right to say that you are not allowed to have sex with customers, but I don’t understand why they were allowed to charge Julian with any kind of crime at all since we recently learned 16 is the age of consent.

Look, he’s 24-years-old; it is not outside the realm of possibility that someone of that age to hook up with someone 8 years younger than him especially if they have been hanging out in close quarters like that.

The idea of a 24-year-old having a relationship with a 16-year-old isn’t weird to me; guys are less mature than girls, so sometimes a girls have to find older guys to find that balance.

We just had a 50-year-old marry a 16-year-old in this state, and that’s OK?

This is what is wrong with this country today; we always have to demonize things by putting ridiculous labels on situations to make people look bad when they really did nothing at all.

A bunch of movies are out this weekend…I would like to say that I will be going to see one, but man, my wife and I are seriously backlogged when it comes to movies we want to see…Bridesmaids, the Hangover 2, Horrible Bosses, and so many more we keep saying we want to see but never get to. This weekend is no exception…BJ is big on the film Attack The Block, which does look good…then you have The Smurfs, which both Toppy & I are excited about, and of course the big blockbuster film: Cowboys Vs. Aliens, starring Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig, and Olivia Wilde. I had no idea who Olivia Wilde is…Rev said she was in Tron, Mono Nick said she was in House, a texter said she was in the O.C….all of these shows I haven’t seen, so she still didn’t ring a bell…I did a Bing search, and DANG…here she is!!!!!

So I go on Wikipedia & learn her last name really isn’t Wilde, that is a stage name…her real last name is beyond awesome…seriously, I don’t know why she didn’t go with her real last name…what is it? Here last name is…..

Wait for it…..

Seriously wait….

It’s worth the wait……

Her name is Olivia COCKBURN!!!!

Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn!

This girls last name is COCKBURN:

She can burn my….uh…nevermind!

Cockburn!

So after Beat The Producer, Mono Nick popped in studio and interrupted us because he had one of his lists to share with us…Nick’s been thinking about that story where Crystal Harris said Hugh Hefner only lasted “two seconds” during sex…this got him thinking….being told you only last 2 seconds is something a guy doesn’t want to hear from a woman, so Mono Nick came up with the Top 3 Things a Guy Doesn’t Want to Hear From a woman.

–Let me get a sip of your beer. This Valtrex is really drying out my mouth.

–Of course you can buy me another drink. After all, I am drinking for two.

And the Number 1 thing a Guy Doesnt want to hear from a woman….

–I have NO idea why our baby is black.

Today’s video Blog features comedian Kyle Cease…he’s at the Parlor Live tonight  www.parlorlive.com for tix), and we gave him a tour of our new food set up in the kitchen!

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users:

Hola,

The urban paradise and Heaven- on- Earth known as Aberdeen, Washington had been debating renaming a bridge after late Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain, but last night the City Council voted 10-1 AGAINST the resolution.  Several citizens, as well as various council members spoke out against it, feigning concern about Kurt’s drug use, suicide and negative comments about Aberdeen.  Anyone who’s ever been to and everyone I’ve ever personally met who hails from Aberdeen also say negative things about Aberdeen, have been on drugs and, on occasion, would rather kill themselves than return to Aberdeen.  This is not a slight on Aberdeen, just an observation, but then, not everyone appreciates the truth.  Trust me… I’m from Baltimore… it’s my home town and there’s a big place in my heart for Charm City… but I won’t lie to you; for the most part, it’s a sh*t hole populated by people who demand nothing better than bush- league anything.  Again, I’m not taking a shot at my old stomping grounds, just pointing out the truth of the place.  Nevertheless, its comments like that that would preclude anyone in Baltimore from ‘honoring’ me for anything.  Well, THAT, and I haven’t done anything worth honoring.  Actually, that might have more to do with it than anything else, but I digress.  Today we wanted to know:  WHAT IS THE PRIMARY REASON THAT YOU COULD NOT GET SOMETHING NAMED AFTER YOU IN YOUR HOME TOWN?

No matter what YOU answer, you could be this guy.

Right… and here are your answers:

From New Orleans… recognizes its inherent stupidity and is honest about it

Nothing will be named after him because his last name is Wojciechowski, and no one is going to put that on anything

Burnt down a landmark in Oklahoma… Cache, Oklahoma if you care.

His father is a cop and busted so many people that no one would honor his family name

He’s from Houston, and by his reasoning, nothing will be named after him because he’s not Mexican

Was the “bad seed” in high school… the town was very happy to bid him adieu

He actually DID have a jail cell named after him in Oregon when he was in and out of juvy… his parents must be so, so proud

His last name is ‘Kuntsman’… ‘nuff said

Was busted smoking weed in his younger days and has been known as the druggie of Cortland ever since

In his younger days he lived on the “big island” of Hawaii and used to set fire to sugar cane fields… they won’t be naming anything after him

She made the local paper three times in ONE WEEK for “being stupid” and was also the local ‘freak’

I know it’s supposed to be an honor to have something named after you, but was Betty Ford really THAT stoked to have the clinics named after her?  Is Lou Gehrig really being honored with the disease?  Is Tommy John flattered that they named a surgery after him?  How about Monica Lewinski?

OK, I’ll leave you with that, bitches.

Until tomorrow, find your peace and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

Safety tips for a fun-filled weekend of camping and music at The Gorge.

Avoid dudes named Lester. Nothing good ever happened to anyone when they were hanging out with a dude named Lester.

Don’t eat the green one. Ever.

Know your limit. No one needs to deal with you naked, covered in poop and having an imaginary conversation with Jesus at 4am. Hey Ken Keasey! Tone it down. I’m trying to sleep and/or get laid.

Nobody likes this guy. If this is you I’m stealing your wallet.

Have a ticket. There will be no “miracles.” The only miracle is you made it though Woodstock, Wavy Gravy. I bought my ticket. You should too.

Fires at the Gorge Campground are just dumb. It’s a big grass field. If you and your boy Cletus want to fire up some old pallets, do it in the Yakima Canyon with the rest of the riff-raff.

Know your skin exposure limit. Is a tube top really your best choice? See below.

Leave your hippy drums at home. All drum circles will be destroyed. Participating tree huggers are to be drawn and quartered.

Hacky sack? Ever been choked out?

Water. Drink it, stupid.

Beer. Drink it too, stupid.

Whiskey. See above.

See you Saturday!

19-year-old Matthew G. Williams from Lakewood was arrested earlier this week after police found him in his car unconscious, wearing a black ski mask and glasses, along with a pellet rifle, a rifle scope, machete, and marijuana.

Williams admitted he beat his family cat to death with a flash light before setting it on fire. He also “practiced” by killing squirrels and birds. When I say “practiced” I mean he was preparing himself to become a serial killer.

According to court documents, Williams stated that he felt “God-like” when he tortured and killed animals, knowing that he was inflicting pain and in total control of their lives. He admitted he admired serial killer Ted Bundy and liked to watch torture videos so that he could desensitize himself for when he actually killed people. He allegedly stated that he planned to target homeless people and “average” white men with no family ties.

This sounds like something out of a TV show like Torchwood or Dexter!

This is a very eerie situation and I’m glad that he was caught before he could cause any harm to a person. Here is an example of a person who should be locked up in a mental facility for the rest of his life.

Too often do we see people out here in the real world with the rest of us, who we know have issues, yet people think its ok to let them be responsible for themselves and their treatment. How many idiots do we see reoffend because they were not taking their medication?

When will society stop feeling sorry for these people and letting them try to live a normal life like the rest of us? News flash, they are not like us because there is seriously something wrong with their heads.

I hope that this Williams kid stays locked up for the rest of his life because I fear if he doesn’t, he will eventually complete his mission.

The story of the day has to be the rumor as to why Mark Anthony was dumped by Jennifer Lopez. This could be the greatest day in Marc Anthony’s life…an anonymous source says that J-Lo dumped him because of his penis. Yes…his penis, and being that I said this could be the greatest day ever for Marc, obviously it wasn’t because it was too small. This source says that Marc’s Johnson is 11 inches long…and wrist thick! 11 inches…holy moly….isn’t that double of what is already deemed a large penis???? J-Lo was supposedly done taking the thrashings and had to kick him to the curb. What I want to know is…who is the source? I’m betting Marc’s P.R. person…what better way to save face from being dumped by the hottest chick in Hollywood? So not only was Marc able to have fun with J-Lo for years….now he is known as the man packing 11 inches! They might as well nickname him Marc “The Ruler” Anthony. This guy is going to have lots of curious ladies knocking on his door. The real loser in all of this is Lopez’s next boyfriend…even if Marc isn’t “The Ruler”, you don’t think that will be in the back of the next guys mind? I could picture J-Lo saying this: “Honey…why are you wrapping that with ace bandage?”

Boy did I get my ass handed to me on Beat The producer…I screwed myself on the first question…I couldn’t remember the name of the bad guy agency on Get Smart (CHAOS), and being that I loved that show I was dwelling on it for the rest of the game. This texter has a great idea based my BTP fail:

Should make an alf themed beat the producer game to lift steves spirits

“No Problem!”

This morning we read a story about some physicists in Hong Kong that have proved that time travel is scientifically impossible…we decided to ask the Rock-A-Holics…if you could travel in time where would you go? My answer creeped the entire show out, as I said I would travel into the future to screw with myself…I would show up in random places, including in the bedroom when the older version of me was with my wife in a “loving” way, and join in…yes…a threesome with my wife, me, and me! That would be hilarious. I could tag myself in when tired! Everyone thought I was crazy…except Marshall, who texted this:

I’m with you Steve, threesome with myself is the only way to do it with another guy. -​Marshall-

Brandie on the other hand, texted in to say I’m an idiot (I can’t disagree with her):

STP–YOUR AN IDIOT! Why dont you have a three some with 2 of your wife?…. Great thinking bozo. From Brandie in marysvile

I’m the idiot Brandie? If I’m the one travelling in time…how can I make two versions of my lady? Unless…I take her with me, and we become swingers…with ourselves? Wow…my brain hurts & I am now starting to creep myself out! Here are some of the texts we got about where would you travel in time:

I wud travel back 2 when lucy was a pup b4 steve got 2 her & warn her what terrible sticky situations lie ahead!

I would go back and stop John Belushi from OD-​ing.

I would travel back in time and stop the guy that shot dime bag before it happened

I would go back 30years and buy a bunch of microsoft stock

I want to time travel back to tuesday so I can hear the peanut butter guy again.

I would stop courtney love from killing kurt cobain.

Go back in time and take pictures of the dinosaurs

Id go back to western time, the whore houses were everywhere and golden showers weren’t frowned upon

I would go back and stop metallica from making st anger

I would make the hawks cut alexander and keep the hutch

Go back and stop steves birth from happening

I would go back and see what really happened to Kurt Cobain

I would go back in time and stop 9/11

Hey Steve,that gives new meaning to go ef yourself !!

BJ must be boring in the sack. I’m with you steve

I would go back and invent the wwe

deffinately hang out with al capone back in the roaring 20s

watch the stock market and make an S load of money.

I would travel in time to anytime that gets me a night with vicky. love chadd

A new survey was done that shows how people waste time at work… so we asked the Rock-A-Holics to be honest, what do you do at work that is a time waster? Here are some of the texts:

I waste time at work when I go to the bathroom to drop the kids off at the pool, I take my sweet ass time. Matter of fact, I’m doing that right now, so I

I work nights, midnight to noon, and for the first 6 hours or so theres nothing to do, so my partner and i sleep or play games.

Bj Shea is a slacker on the job all he does is talk to people on the phone and listen to rock n roll. Lol. Love the show , k dog

I waist alot of time at work standing around listening to you guys and The Mens Room, only getting any work done during songs and commercial breaks.

eBay! Work is so boring that I will actually have the eBay page up through my entire shift. I usually spend a couple hundred dollars a week.

I have sex at work whenever possible. Jennifer in Ft. Lewis

I luv to mastercate on the clock. nothing better than slamming the ham for thirthy clams an hour. neal at the uw

and play there free games for like an hour all while getting paid.

I hav sex with my secretary 2x a day!! & shes married. hahaha!

I play my xbox for about 7 hours of my 12 hour shift and i am security

Play angry birds on the crapper to kill time

I have a hard time staying off craigslist durring work

I text radio stations during work

we listen to you BJ! from the sheetmetal crew in kenmore!

If my employees knew how much xtube I watched in my office.

I go in the bathroom and have sex with my bosses daughter who is the bangin receptionist about 2-3 times a day to pass the time . Its awesome!

I’ve made it my goal to watch the entire star trek tng series on Netflix while working. On the sixteenth episode so far!! Love the show! -D. Prime

Listening to steves obsession with peanut butter and lucy.

I spent the last hour at work getting my boaters certificate online off my I-phone.

I have “8″ bowel movements a day at about ten minutes a piece!!!

Today’s Video Blog features an interview BJ’s Geek Nation podcast did with Joe Cornish & John Boyega from the new film “Attack The BlocK’. This film looks great…BJ loved it, before we get to the video blog…here is the trailer:

Ok…here is the VLOG….

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users: