“Hola,

Senator Harry Reid of Nevada popped a few ‘prude pills’ last week and announced that the time has come to outlaw brothels in his home state.  I won’t bore you with his ‘reasoning’, but he mentions that the world’s “oldest profession” has no place in a 21st century economy… leading us to wonder if Reid has figured out why prostitution, legal or not, is the only part of humanity that has withstood the test of time and has outlasted every other man- made endeavor.  Anyway, if Reid has his way, brothels, bordellos and prostitutes would no longer be legal in Nevada.  Meanwhile, here in Seattle and Tacoma, a new type of farmer’s market is making headlines.  The Cannabis Farmer’s Market is a God- send for anyone with a medical marijuana card who might not like going to co- ops.  Whatever- the- case, you can now window shop for weed… kinda like window shopping for hookers in Amsterdam.  We know that drugs and sex might not appeal to everyone quite the way they appeal to us, but everybody has their ‘thing’.  Today we want to know where you go to get whatever it is you need to be happy:  LIKE A KID IN THE CANDY STORE, YOU’RE THE KID, WHAT’S YOUR CANDY?

There’s a place called Basses Northwest in Pioneer Square that I could spend ALL day at.  As a bass player, it’s like going to the Playboy Mansion.  Yea, I’m a bass dork… what can you do?

As for you:

Tequila bars… one of my downfalls

Used vinyl shops… another of my downfalls

Snowboard and motorcycle shops

Electronics and computers

Grocery store… I HATE grocery shopping.  It’s absolutely painful

Adult toys… gotta love her

Book stores… loves to read… or loves to flip through picture books

The Acropolis Strip Club in Portland

Coffee

Fishing and hunting supplies… and the call was from a woman

The DVD section of any store

The cheese section… I admit it; I get caught up in the cheese section too.  Mmmmmmm… cheese

The fireworks stand

Lingerie… I like her already

Legos

Boys… yes, it was from a woman

The lumber section of hardware stores… they don’t build anything, but they love the smell

Whole Foods

SHOT OF THE DAY:

Today’s honoree was local TV reporter Shomari Stone, from KOMO 4. Just watch the video and it explains itself.

Poor guy.

I’ll leave you with that.

Until tomorrow, rock on, rock out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

What an awesome weekend…boy oh boy did you guys celebrate John T Williams day yesterday? I know I did…I got drunk, and exposed myself in public…it was so much fun! I’m being sarcastic of course, but yes, yesterday was proclaimed John T Williams Day…this is the woodcarver guy that was shot & killed by a police officer when the officer had a knife. I know there are some polarizing opinions about the police regarding how all of this unfolded, but at the end of the day…do we really need to honor a man that had over 30 convictions in the last 20 years, including public indecency, lewd conduct, disorderly conduct, and indecent exposure. Plus…prior to the incident that led to him being shot & killed…he had some choice words for a female police officer…John said: “F*** you bitch. I’ll F****** kill you, all you police force.” Uh….Happy John T. Williams Day?

In all honesty I did have an awesome weekend…on Saturday night I got to play in the T-Birds Celebrity Hockey Challenge after the T-Birds/Portland game (sadly the Birds lost that game 4-3). This was such a blast…and damn was I nervous. To quote the great Chris Jericho: “My heart was pounding faster than a Dave Lombardo double bass drum”…I hit the ice & saw the love from all of my co-workers & friends that were there…I love that they were sitting in a section usually deemed “Calvin’s Corner” (an area near T-Birds goalie Calvin Pickard), so for Saturday night it was STP’s Corner….I also had my in-laws, my cousin, and my wife there…which made me even more nervous as I didn’t want to suck in front of them. I remember in the locker room I was b.s.ing with my buddy Lloyd Shaw, who used to play for the T-Birds, and was on team white for the celeb game with me…and I begged him to help me out on defense as I didn’t want to look like a tiotal tool. As we were sitting in the locker room, something real cool happened…in walked one of the guys on theam blue…and he said “Hey, who’s the goalie in here?”…I told him it was me & he said that if I let him score, he would give me free goalie lessons…turns out that guy was former New Jersey Devil, and current Sharks goalie coach Corey Schwab!!!! Corey won a Stanley Cub with the Devils, backing up Martin Brodeur. This was so damn cool…as I told him I am a lifelong Devils fan, so he started sharing some stories about being a Devil. Now lets get to the part where I am playing the game…on my team was Michael Rosenbaum (from Smallville), Paul Guilfoyle from CSI, Q13’s Billy Wixey, Christie Johnson from King 5, our coach was Ian Furness from 950 KJR…some of the former T-Birds we had on our team were Jamie Huscroft (played many years in the NHL, including for the Devils and the Bruins), Lloyd Shaw, and Ryan Gibbons. I played periods 1 & 3, and I say proudly that I had one of the best games I’ve ever played…making some good saves, and only allowing 2 goals during the game. The game was tied after 3 periods at 4-4, and it went into a shootout…I was able to stop the first 4 shots, but so did the other goaltender…and in the next round I gave up a goal, and the other goalie stopped his…so team blue won the game in the shoot out, but I skated out of the Showare Center with my head held high! The whole weekend’s festivities raised money for the Ronald McDonald House…a great cause and a great time this weekend. Thanks to Amee on Facebook for posting this pic on me in net!

The website Complex.com has put together a list of the 50 Worst Actors in Hollywood History. For the coveted #1 spot, they went with Keanu Reeves. Here’s the Top 10:

1. Keanu Reeves

10. Matthew Lillard
I can’t believe Nic Cage wasn’t in the top 10!!!!

Today’s video blog features Toppy’s report of me at the T-Birds Celebrity Hockey game, and the post game party at a bar in Kent!

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users.

Last Friday during Listeners on the Loose, our buddy Craze’ 8 called in to talk about an argument he got into with his girlfriend Nadine. He had been watching videos on his phone, apparently watching couples pranking each other when it all went down.

The gags the guys were pulling on their girls in these videos were simple things; putting cream cheese in their deodorant or putting glitter in their heater system, so when the girls turned it on glitter would spray everywhere. The pranks the girls were pulling were far more intense! It wouldn’t even be called a prank because the girls were beating their boyfriends with a frying pan or kicking them into a fire place. Now Craze’ 8 explained that what really pissed him off, and what was kind of unnerving, was that his girlfriend was laughing at all of the videos where the men were getting attacked, and she said she thought they deserved what they got!

How is hurting someone like pushing them into a fire place a funny prank? Just because he put a little cream cheese in her deodorant he deserves to get beaten with a frying pan?

Now I’ve met his girlfriend and I feel badly saying stuff about her because she seemed like a nice girl, but like many women in this instance, she’s just not thinking logically or is just plain stupid.

I have no tolerance for women who think that violence towards men is a proper reciprocation for any sort of emotional embarrassment they suffered. It’s so stupid that people still think that way in today’s day and age and society.

If anyone, man or woman, were to ever hit me with a frying pan, they should expect to be hauled out by the police because that is who I will be calling, and I hope you’ll experience some fine experiences in jail.

We see this all the time, men get hurt, they fall, or look stupid in commercials or TV but don’t you dare ever do something like that to a woman.

Look, I just have one thing to say to Craze’8’s lady and any other woman who thinks like her: It’s the year 2011 sweetheart; no one gets to hit anybody anymore for any reason. If you think a man deserves to get physically harmed for something he did that wasn’t physically harmful, then congratulations to Stupid Town because you are the Mayor!

1) Hall and Oats.  Where are they now?

2) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Salami.

    What up blogger? So you been good? Good. Now this blog is usally just about tv but today I feel the need to talk to you about something else. The world is going crazy!!! Have you seen the protest in the middle east? It’s unreal and the stuff that is happening right now is just un-real. On our side in Wisconson they are banning labor unions. I don’t want to sound like the great Vince Lombardi but what the hell going out out there? I don’t know for sure what is going to happen or what the hell is happening but stuff is going on. I now this much we are on the verge of un-real things that are about to change even in the USA. By the way gas and Airline prices will be through the roof again too. I guess my point is this I don’t care what side of the fence you are on the rich are getting richer and people in the middle class are getting poorer. I mean I keep hearing from the goverment that the economey is getting better but when I talk to people that run bars and store they say no it ant. I really do think in the next few years you are going to see a shift and we will come together because thats what americans do and we will show the rich greedy basturds we have had enough. Sorry I got a little preachy there I am just blown away at what is happening and I can’t stop watching it all. Have a good weekend and GO STP

“Hola,

It’s that time of the year again when we talk about our favorite subject… well, ONE of our favorite subjects anyway… BOOZE!  That’s right, bitches, we are gearing up for the ‘Men’s Room 4th 53rd Annual Alco- Hall- O- Fame’.  Maybe you remember our first three 53rd Annual Alco- Hall- O- Fames, maybe you don’t, either way, here’s a refresher; like March Madness, we take 4 categories, give each category 16 entrants and then over a few days or weeks, the entrants go head- to- head in a series of votes until there is a winner in each, leaving us with our very own “final four”.  Out of that “final four”, we will crown a champion at our Alco- Hall- O- Fame ceremony, where everyone 21 and older is invited.  Today we need your help filling the four categories, and those categories are ‘Drinking Songs’, ‘Entry Level Drinking’ (as in your introduction to the world of alcohol), ‘Drinking Venues’ and ‘Drunken Debauchery’, those really stupid things that seem like a great idea ONLY when you’re drunk.

OK, we got a sh*t ton of suggestions today, as expected, so there’s just no way I’m gonna even attempt to recall them all here.  That being said, all of our finalists will be posted next week for your voting pleasure.

Yea, that’s the blog for the day, bitches.  Was it exciting?  No, and I know that, BUT, hopefully the categories juice your feeble minds and you come up with some nominees over the weekend.  We’re taking suggestions over the weekend.  If you don’t know; all of this culminates with a party that we throw to honor all of the winners.  It’s a good time every year… at least that’s what we’re told.  I honestly don’t remember most of them.  I have to wait to see pictures.

OK bitches, time to enjoy the weekend.

Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

If you have or are preparing to change jobs, do you know what your choices are for managing the money in your previous or current employer’s retirement plan?

Although many people choose to take cash distribution, there are other options that may benefit you more.

Taking a lump- sum cash distribution may trigger an immediate 20% federal withholding tax and in addition, a 10% tax penalty may apply if you are younger than age 55.

Check with your current or new employer to see if you are able to roll over your previous retirement plan to theirs.  If this is not possible, you may want to consider rolling the money to a traditional IRA.

Yesterday we received an email from Jennifer for Group Therapy that just set me off!

Jennifer wrote in saying that she got married less than a year ago, but now wants a divorce. The reason is because she says that he’s a “nice guy” but they’re just not “compatible”. Also, she knew before the wedding that she felt this way but since they had already sent out the invitations and started the planning, she didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.

Give me a break! How did you not know that before you even starting making plans for the wedding? How about when he put that damn ring on your finger in the first place? That was your chance to say no!

She continues writing that she just doesn’t want to waste either of their time and that there is also this guy she works with that she’s been “just flirting with” but wants to see where that goes.

Jennifer’s main problem is when she told her parents about the plan; they got so mad at her that they said she had two options: A. work out their problems in counseling or B. get the divorce but she has to pay them back the twenty-thousand dollars they spent on the wedding less than a year ago.

How she ended her letter really infuriated me. She said she that because her wedding was a “gift” from her parents, she shouldn’t be expected to pay them back and that she emailed us in hopes that her parents would hear the discussion and “come to their senses”.

I hate how most women have this sense of fairy tale entitlement! They don’t want to talk about money, pre-nups, or accept the fact that marriage isn’t just about love, it’s also a business!

Also, what about her husband? I’m pretty sure if he asked her to marry him, it’s because he really cared about her and I’m sure he still does, even though I don’t understand why.

Jennifer is just another woman who wanted to have her dream fairy tale wedding where she’s the center of attention dressed like a princess, but didn’t care who she hurt in the process. She’s not a freaking princess; she’s just a heartless toad!

According to a new study out of Belgium, VIGOROUS SEX causes more heart attacks than COCAINE. So this weekend if you are doing lines of blow off hookers rear end, you might want to think twice before sex. In the study, they ranked the top 10 factors that increase your risk of having a heart attack. The number one factor is traffic exposure . . . both from the stress and the air pollution you’re exposed to. That increases your risk by 7.4%. Here’s the full top 10:

1. Traffic exposure increases your risk of a heart attack by 7.4%

2. Physical exertion, increase of 6.2%

3. Alcohol, increase of 5%

4. Coffee, increase of 5%

5. General air pollution, increase of 4.8%

6. Negative emotions, increase of 3.9%

7. Anger, increase of 3.1%

8. Overeating, increase of 2.7%

9. POSITIVE emotions, an increase of 2.4%

10. Sexual activity, increase of 2.2%

11. Cocaine use, increase of 0.9%

12. Smoking marijuana, increase of 0.8%

13. Respiratory infections, increase of 0.6%.

I have to say…when it comes to vigorous sex…I don’t think it’s nearly as taxing for a chick as it is for the fellas…let me try & explain….during the act of sex…a guy is always exerting more energy…it doesn’t matter the position. I’ll prove it to ya…stand up right now & thrust back & forth repeatedly…you will be worn out. Ok…now…sit on a chair & bounce up and down on it…sure it’s exhausting, but not nearly as hard. And that my friends…is why it’s more physically demanding for a dude. Have you ever come so close to passing out because you were a jack rabbit? I asked that this morning, and here is a great text response to that:

When it comes to Mister steve I just wanted to let you know , when you are getting light headed and you are both sweaty there is a term for that. It’s called “Twirkin’ it “

This morning we played some great audio of Charlie Sheen…boy does this guy sound like a guy who’s brain has been influenced by the coke!!! The remainder of this season’s “Two and a Half Men” has been cancelled, after Charlie Sheen lit into show creator Chuck Lorre in a radio interview yesterday.

Charlie went on a syndicated radio show, “The Alex Jones Show” . . . and slammed Lorre. This phone call was INSANE!.

He said, “Let me just say this . . . that it’s nothing less than . . . this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine . . . yeah, that’s Chuck’s real name . . . mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world, by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Last I checked, Chaim, I’ve spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold, and the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he’s above the law. Well, you’ve been warned, dude. Bring it.”

At one point Charlie got all philosophical…I love this line: “I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time . . . and this includes naps . . . I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”

At one point Alex Jones compared Charlie to former president Thomas Jefferson…and Charlie said…. “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a P***y.” Hahahahaha hilarious!!!

CBS soon after all of this released this statement: “Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of ‘Two and a Half Men’ for the remainder of the season.”

Here is the full interview:

Is it me or is Charlie Sheen quickly becoming The Ultimate Warrior?

Today’s Video Blog features another phone call that Charlie Sheen made yesterday…this time he called a local radio personality!

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users.

“Hola,

It’s all a matter of opinion, and everyone’s list would be different, but the folks at www.complex.com have come up with a list of the “50 Worst Actors in Hollywood History”.  Like I said, everyone has their own opinion, but their list is pretty dead- on.  Nevertheless, all of these guys keep making movies… and we keep seeing them.  To be fair, bad actors aren’t always a part of a bad movie, but they have a way of making an otherwise good movie just OK.  Sometimes bad movies even offer a small slice of reprieve in the form of one or two good scenes.  The occasional car chase, fight scene or erection- inducing sex scene can get you to sit through a yawn- fest more than once.  A movie like “9 ½ Weeks” is a steaming pile of sh*t, BUT ice- cube- to- nipples sex scene will keep you in your scene.  People will labor through “The Matrix” trilogy based on the promise of cool fight sequences, and the “Die Hard” franchise lives up to its name based solely on lots of explosions.  Whatever works for you.  Today we went fill- in- the- blank style:  ALTHOUGH I FEEL THE MOVIE SUCKED IN GENERAL, I’LL ALWAYS WATCH __________ FOR THE __________ SCENE.

Road House… the final fight scene, where Patrick Swayze tears a man’s throat out of his neck.  Never been quite that angry… then again, I’ve never been trained to fight by Sam Elliot

Total Recall… for three boobs scene.  If you really, REALLY like three- breasted women, there’s a porn actress out there with three boobs  (.)(.)(.)

Monster’s Ball… the sex scene with Halle Barry.  It’s the only reason I ever sat down to watch this flick, but no one warned me that Billy Bob Thorton would be joining her

Dusk to Dawn, Dogma, Frida and desperado just to look at Selma Hayak’s sweet, sweet ass… and mustache

Sirens… Portia de Rossi AND Elle McPhereson give us some full frontal… and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Major League… loves the scene where Bob Uecker gets drunk in the announcer’s booth

Speed Racer… for the “trippy” race scenes… that movie looked so bad I walked out on the commercials

True Lies… the Jamie Lee Curtis underwear scene where she’s dancing… she’s since reduced her sexy- factor by incessantly telling us how well and frequently she poops

Meet Joe Black… enjoys seeing Brad Pitt get hit by a car

Fast and Furious franchise… admits that the movies suck, but he loves the race scenes

The Informers… “steamy” scenes involving the delicious Amber Heard.  I only say she’s delicious because we ate a few of their limbs last night

The Last Dragon… terrible movie, but loved the fight scene.  I DID learn one important thing from that cinematic masterpiece- if a man you’re fighting starts glowing, quit f**king with them.

Evil Dead… for the possessed hand scene, although the laughing moose head is another piece of cinematic genius

Tremors… this is one of my favorite guilty pleasures

Any Delta Force movie… Chuck Norris is his typical bad- ass self

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure… the biker/ dance scene

Cruel Intentions…  Sarah Michelle Gellar + Selma Blair = f**king hot

Show Girls… awful movie, but the T and A makes it bearable

OK, we could do this all day… and we pretty much did, so I’m gonna call it a day… a day.

Until tomorrow, shake twice and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”