“Hola,

Mistakes; everyone makes them and sometimes they’re good, but sometimes they can be bad.  For example, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco has his own breakfast cereal called, well, Ocho- Cincos.  A portion of the proceeds go to the charity Feed the Children and on each box is a phone number that connects callers to the charity… except that it doesn’t.  Instead, the number takes you to an explicit sex line, which is cool, but not cool if that’s not what you’re expecting.  That’s an example of a bad mistake.  Kind of like the 36 year old man in Florida who was shot with an arrow after a hunter mistook him for a deer.  Another bad mistake.  On the other hand, the fine folks at “Real Simple” magazine (which I’ve never heard of) came up with a list of 4 things, they believe, everyone should make.  I’ll share that with you in a second.  Anyway, like I said, everyone makes mistakes, some good, some not- so- good, either way we wanted to know:  LOOKING BACK, WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST OR BEST MISTAKE YOU’VE EVER MADE?

First, the list of 4 mistakes “Real Simple” thinks you SHOULD make:

EMBARRASS YOURSELF:  done and done… and done and done

FOLLOW FASHION TRENDS:  negative.  Do your own thing

BE WILLING TO FAIL AT SOMETHING YOU LOVE:  done and done and done again

PUT YOURSELF IN A RISKY SITUATION:  effortless

Now, the Men’s Room list of 4 mistakes we think everyone should make:

GO ON A BENDER:  get drunk for days, wake up smelling like pee in a place you’re unfamiliar with.  If you can remember what happened or how you got there, you did it wrong

HAVE A BAD TRIP:  not a bad vacation, we’re talking the “brown acid” trip.  It sucks at the time, but you’ll appreciate it after the fact

SLEEP WITH A FATTY:  Just do it.  It will explain itself

Here are some of the mistakes you’ve made, for better or for worse:

Didn’t pay traffic fines and ended up in jail for 27 days, where he met his current wife.  She was the sister- in- law of his cellmate.  Now he and the former cellmate are business partners.  Go figure

Gave his car to a dealership to sell, but the dealership went under

Used to deal drugs, now he has a union gig and misses the “easy” money

Passed up sex because he’s a “nice” guy… and an idiot

Gave some “random” guy her number on the bus… they’ve been dating for 8 months

Got “HATE” tattooed on one side of his body and “PAIN” on the other side because some broad cheated on him… 13 years ago

His current wife is his biggest mistake

Fell for an Amway scam and lost a bunch of $$$

Tried to fight his father at 18 and that was a huge mistake

Chose to keep her first kid, who was the product of rape.  That’s awkward when the kid asks, who was my daddy.

Congratulated a woman on her pregnancy, which would have been a nice gesture IF she were pregnant.

Had sex with a deaf co-worker from Olive Garden… I said, HE HAD SEX WITH… oh, never mind

Recently gambled on a fart and he lost that gamble

If you want to gamble, go to Vegas, don’t gamble with your pants.  I say this from experience.

OK then time to grill some hot dogs, bitches.

Until tomorrow, put it where it feels good and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

This morning we spent a lot of time talking about the passing of Greg Giraldo.  Greg died yesterday due to an accidental overdose from pills…he went into the hospital on Saturday.   We played some audio from the last time we had Greg on, and it was eerie to hear him joking about addiction, and his marriage ending for his issues with alcohol & drugs.  It makes ya think about the comics that have passed at a young age…hell, not just comics but all artists…actors, musicians, etc….it got us thinking:  Who do you wish was still around?  For me it would have to be Andrew Wood, I would have loved to see how he would have grown as an artist…the music he made with Mother Love Bone is over 20 years old, and it’s still some of my favorite music to listen to.  I would also love to see Mitch hedberg was still around, Mitch was a bud & an amazing comic, the funniest!  Also…I wish Shannon Hoon from Blind Melon was around…what an under-rated voice!!!  Toppy’s choice was Jimi Hendrix…that would have been cool to hear what he would be doing now.  Here were some of the calls we received about who people would like to see alive!

Eagan – Hunter S. Thompson

Ryan – Chris Farley

Chris – George Carlin

Big Daddy – Sam Kinison

Joe –TuPac

G-Man – Randy Rhodes

Big Big Big thanks to Craig Gass for calling in this morning to talk about the passing of Greg Giraldo, as they were friends.  Craig shared with us what he knew when it came to Greg’s overdose…apparently Greg has been sober for quite some time & made a “bad decision” Friday night after a rough break-up & relapsed.  Ugh. 

Today’s video blog features The Humbler…he is the guy that beat me a while back in Beat The Producer after challenging me during Listeners On The Loose.  The Humbler (or Lane) & his buddy Dale came in with gifts…including some amazing Frost Donuts.

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users.

Yesterday during Group Therapy we talked about an email a fellow H-hole named Jeremy sent us asking for some advice. His girlfriend recently had plastic surgery on her nose and was having problems in the relationship because of it. He says he didn’t see anything wrong with her nose and insisted that she shouldn’t do it but she still wanted to remove a slight hump of her nose.

By the way ladies, I love the fact that if you’re with a man who loves you just the way you are — which is what you have asked us to do, and yet you still have to complain and change your looks. I don’t understand why women do that.

Every time you come in contact with a guy you say, “Don’t look at my boobs!” or “Don’t look at my ass!”, and to have us love you deeper than that…yet when a guy does, that’s still not good enough.

Women have to understand that they are the ones who don’t like the way they look and it has nothing to do with us men. Jeremy and his girlfriend are the perfect example of this.

Since Jeremy’s girlfriend got the surgery, they are no longer able to do certain activities together that they once enjoyed. They can no longer play volleyball for fear of spiking the ball in her face, and she can’t go running for fear of her nose “dropping.” It’s gotten so bad that once while kissing, he accidently brushed up against her nose and she burst out crying thinking he damaged it in someway.

My advice for Jeremy is to just run! If this is what she is doing now, then how is she going to be as she gets older and different parts of her body start to change and sag? I’ve seen plenty of women who get a lot of plastic surgery and it just looks ridiculous! Ladies, my advice to you is if your man likes the way you look than be happy with that.

It’s Blogging time bitches!!!! Did I take a few weeks off the blog? Yeah. Do I have a good reason? No. Now that that’s out of the way lets get down to some UpRoar biz-n-ass. Last weekend at the White River Amp Theater I saw one of the most fist pumping kick ass shows of the year. The 2010 UpRoar Festival. Show was STACKED with a bunch of killer bands from Hell Yeah, to Hailstorm, to Stone Sour, to Avenged Sevenfold, and Disturbed. Straight up, the highlight of the night was Avenged Sevenfold. I mentioned on The Mens Room yesterday that Avenged Sevenfold was like watching a rock show in HELL. And I mean that in the best way possible. Lets put it this way…if that’s what hell is like…I’m pushing down old ladies to the ground for the rest of the week just so I can make sure I get in. The show they put on probably cracks my top 5 of all time. But before you can reach the level of A7X or Disturbed you usually have to pay some dues. And a couple killer bands that destroyed the second stage and are getting ready to blow up were Hail the Villain and New Medicine. So I want to use this blog to highlight these guys and post some interviews I did with the fella’s.
First up is my Interview with Hail the Villain front man Bryan Crouch. P.S. check the horrible job the video guy does at the end. I could tell he was watching us talk and not watching the camera. It’s actually so bad its funny.

Check out Hail the Villain’s video for their song that can currently be heard on KISW. Tune is called “Take back the Fear”

Next up is my chat with the guys from New Medicine. This was the last interview of the day after 6 hours of interviews and I’m a little beat. Check it.

And this is the video for their single “Laid”. New Medicine’s debut album hit shelves this last Tuesday. Check it.

Don’t Waste your Day, Go Get WASTED!!!

JEETZ

Sad day in the world of comedy as we lost a great comic that we were lucky enough to have met and have on our show a few times over the years.

Comedian Greg Giraldo passed away at the age of 44…just days after being hospitalized for a prescription pill overdose. Greg was well known for his work on many Comedy Central roasts, and recently a judge on NBC’s Last Comic Standing.

Comedy Central released the following statement: “The tragic news of Greg’s passing hits us very, very hard. Greg has been a close member of the Comedy Central family for years, injecting his energy and wicked sense of humor into countless projects. The comedy community lost a brother today. Our thoughts are with his family.”

Here is Video from the last time we had Greg in studio, back in March of 2009. R.I.P. Greg.

“Hola,

Much has been made of the “n- word” (that would be ‘nigger’) in the last few years thanks, in part, to Michael Richard’s comedy- club meltdown, Al Sharpton’s self- promotion and, more recently, Dr. Laura dropping the ‘bomb’ 4 times in about 90 seconds.  The basic message about the “N- bomb” is that black people don’t like it.  How this is has been NEWS is anyone’s guess.  We assumed that everyone already knew that, but the media seems to think that our aversion to being called “nigger” is an anomaly that began in the 21st century.  Let’s assume that this IS, somehow, news, let’s cover a few more earth- shattering revelations; Jews don’t appreciate Holocaust jokes, Catholics don’t like pedophile jokes, Italians don’t like being called WOPS or Guido’s, Asians aren’t fond of the term ‘zipper head’, women don’t enjoy being called ‘bitch’, gays don’t like being called “fags” and the obese don’t appreciate being called fat- asses.  Shocking, I know.  Anyway, on this show we say ALL of those things, but people seemingly understand that we’re pointing out the absurdity of it all, so we get away with it… up until yesterday.  A gentleman named Donovan called in and tore me a new one because of my liberal use of the word ‘nigger’.  He didn’t appreciate a white guy repeatedly using it and he made that very, very clear.  Imagine his surprise when he found out I was black.  Good stuff.   Anyway, here’s our question of the day:  WHAT WORD CAN BE SAID OR SUBJECT BROUGHT UP THAT PUSHES YOUR BUTTONS EVERY TIME?

Guy is from Brooklyn and hates being called a ‘Guido’

Anytime his ex started a sentence with, “so…”

Doesn’t like it when people call him a “punk”… equates it to being sodomized in prison.  Well Goddamn, man

Anyone who says the Holocaust didn’t happen… who actually says that, other than the Iranian President?

Women talking about what they’re ‘entitled’ to; child support, alimony, etc.  Male or female, you’re ‘entitled’ to what you earned, nothing more.

Anyone who says “you people”

He’s from New York, hates it when people think he’s from New Jersey

Doesn’t like the c- word

Hates being labeled “liberal” or “conservative”

Being called a liar… but I don’t believe him

Illegal immigrants

People who say “what not” and what not

Politics… plain and simple

‘Political correctness’

Doesn’t like vegans going off on their holier- than- thou tangents

OK, because I’m the luckiest son- of- a- bitch to ever walk the Earth, I’ve gotta go so I can attend another exciting Lamaze class.  I now know more about embryonic fecal matter and vaginal discharge than I ever cared to know.

Until tomorrow, suck my kiss and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

Back in May of 2008, Dan Luckett from Norcross, Georgia was serving in Iraq for the US Army and the Humvee he was in was hit by a bomb, which destroyed his right foot and most of his lower left leg/foot so the bottoms of both of his legs were amputated.

Again, I have to say that sometimes it’s the price that these brave men and women have to pay in order for idiots like me to be able to speak on a microphone…I am very humbled by this.

Now, it’s been two years later and Dan has a prosthetic right foot and a prosthetic left shin/foot and instead of relaxing at home, he is back on duty.

I would have thought that a guy like would be out of the military getting the benefits he deserves, but he chose to go back.

Not only is Dan back on duty but he is also back on the front lines! He is currently serving on the front lines in Afghanistan and he is doing it on artificial limbs.

Dan said that after the bomb took away his legs, all he wanted was to get out of that wheelchair, stop having people baby him, and get back to fighting for the US.

I would love to have my tax money go to people who get injured while serving for our country. If someone loses their legs like this, we should give them their 20 year pension because they deserve it after defending this country in such a harsh matter. Dan is the kind of guy who deserves to receive our tax dollars, not like those idiot welfare mothers.

Also, less than a year later after his accident, Dan was so comfortable with his prosthetics that he was able to run an 8 minute mile! I can’t even run a 20 minute mile and my legs are fine.

I know I talk a lot about the idiots that have infested this world but I also like to take the time to recognize true heroes and real men like Dan Luckett.

So we learned today that Topshelf had a Pony when he was a kid, her name was Tammy. I don’t know why, I just find the visual of a lil’ Topppy riding a pony around his backyard to be a funny one. I guess Tammy kicked Toppy’s mom one day & pissed her off & soon Tammy was gone. Toppy’s friends used to tease Toppy about the loss of Tammy saying that she is now glue, and that would make Toppy cry.

As I am writing what I wrote above, I feel like I am writing the beginning to a children’s book… “The Story of Toppy & Tammy.”  Here is the book cover:

This all came up because Toppy reported in sports that Real Quiet, a championship horse, is now dead. I asked probably the dumbest question of the day…do they still use horses to make glue? And if they do, would they take a champion horse & turn it into glue, but make it a high end glue since it comes from greatness? They could call it “Elmer’s Gold” or something like that.

We also learned that toppy played a violin as a kid, is it me or was Toppy living on the Little House On The Prairie? Between Horses & Violins, Topshelf’s last name must be Ingalls. OK, I really am getting old if I am making relates to Little House On The Prairie, quite possibly the most boring show to ever be successful on television. It’s sad when a Violin jam session at the end of the show would be the most exciting part of the program…that and when one of the Ingalls sisters set fire to the ranch and went blind or something.

The Deadliest Catch should call it a day. They are about to start Season 7, and it’s going to look a lot different as three captains aren’t returning, which means 2 boats won’t be back. Captains Jonathan & Andy Hillstrand are in the middle of being sued by the Discovery Channel over a spinoff show that they didn’t finish, so they decided to leave the Deadliest Catch, and in a show of solidarity….Sig Hansen from the Northwestern is leaving too. Both of these boats have been there for most of the Deadliest Catch’s run (Northwestern since season 1, and the Time Bandit since season 2). Not to mention with the loss of Captain Phil, who passed away…the heart & soul of this show is pretty much gone. I think the right thing to do is for the Deadliest Catch to call it a day.

KISS got snubbed again for the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame…last year they got nominated & didn’t get voted in & this year they didn’t even get nominated…might as well kick Gene & Paul in the balls. I don’t get how you can have a “Rock & Roll” Hall of Fame without KISS or RUSH in it, yet they aren’t….but Donavan & Donna Summers gets nominated. This hurts my brain.

So today was Intern Annabelle’s last day…we are seriously going to miss her as she was a great intern! Not only was she great behind the scenes, but she also did some great interviews at events in the Northwest…if you missed my blog the other day I posted this best of reel that a listener named Mike made…it’s real cool, and a testament to the great work & entertainment that Annabelle provided.

Good luck Annabelle!!!

Today’s Video Blog is Annabelle’s farewell to the H-Holes & The Rock-A-Holics.

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE users.

“Hola,

So the wife and I are watching TV Saturday night after dinner; I can’t remember what we were watching, but at 9:30 or so, a commercial comes on for the Trojan Tri- phoria.  What is the Tri- phoria?  The Trojan Tri- phoria is a vibrator for the ladies to jiggle their happy- bits.  If I remember correctly, it has 3 tips and 5 different speeds so you can replace your man 15 different ways.  Anyway, the commercial came and went, and about a minute later it occurred to us that we’d just seen a TV commercial for a sex toy.  I’m pretty sure that’s a first, but we figure it’s only a matter of time before the fun police (the Parents Television Council or some other simple- minded group of lunatics) will try to get it banned from the airwaves.  It’s inevitable.  The folks behind Kotex, the makers of tampons, had their TV ad turned down by all three of the major networks because they had the audacity to use the word ‘vagina’.  I’m not clear if the network executives are clear on what the intended use of tampons exactly, but the folks at Kotex re- cut the commercial and replaced ‘vagina’ with ‘down there’.  Still, two out of three networks turned them down again.   Other alternatives include, catcher’s mitt, jelly roll, panty hamster, buffalo gums, baby zipper, deer hoof, fat rabbit, front- butt, Lawrence of a Labia, salami garage, Ninja slipper and fuzzy bike rack.  Well, whether you think this is a country full of prudes or you think we just aim to please polite society, today we wanted to know:  WHAT DO YOU OWN THAT CANNOT BE ADVERTISED ON TV?

What we learned today is that you people own a lot of weapons… to the surprise of absolutely no one.  Here’s a sample of your non- TV- friendly possessions:

An AK- 47 pistol

His AK- 47

His gun collection… has about 5 of them, but keeps the shot gun near the front door

His Soviet era SVD marksman’s rifle

A short- blade ninja sword… he’s a ninja, you see

His (fake) gold and (fake) ruby encrusted dagger from Iraq

An inert landmine from, well, somewhere… dude, are you SURE it’s inert?

Here are some NON- weapon items you own:

His bongs… sure he means ‘a tobacco water pipe’.  Ever say ‘bong’ in a head shop?  The workers always freak out

His porn collection… Ben made a good point; ads for hi- speed internet are essentially porn advertisements for guys.  Amen

His bottle of Jimi Hendrix vodka

Anti- monkey butt powder… it prevents swamp- ass and that’s a good thing

‘Real’ absinthe… as in the kind with the dreaded wormwood

A board game called Dealer McDope… it came out in the 70’s and was exactly what you think it is

Has a cell phone jammer… would LOVE to have one of those.  I’d never turn it off, ever!

Owns boot- legged Men’s Room t- shirts (???) There are boot- legged Men’s Room t- shirts?

Ghetto- opoly… a Monopoly parody based on the ghetto- and if you’ve been to Atlantic City, you might ask yourself, ‘what’s the difference?’

Lawn Darts/ Jarts… we figured out to make these legal again; instead of calling them a toy, call them a weapon and they’ll be OK.  You can buy a gun, a knife, a sword, and hollow- point bullets but you can’t buy lawn darts?  WTF?

SIT AND SPIN

Today Jolene came in for sit and spin with an actual new CD! This week it was Santana’s newest offering called Guitar Heaven. Click here for her take.

I’ll let you chew on that while I ride off into the sunset… or go to host trivia, as it were.

Until tomorrow, roses are red, violets are blue, Snooki’s are orange, STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

9/28/2010

Sit N Spin!!

So Carlos Santana has released “Guitar Heaven The Greatest Guitar Classics Of All Time”. It’s pretty obvious…an album covering some of the biggest rock songs of all time.

He Sanatanafied’ all the songs with some likely guest vocalists and some ummmmmmm. Enjoy the list.

Make sure to scroll down further for R&R Hall Of Fame Nominees and new Rock available today!

1. WHOLE LOTTA LOVE (FEAT. CHRIS CORNELL)

2. CAN’T YOU HEAR ME KNOWCKING (FEAT. SCOTT WEILAND)

3. SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE (FEAT. ROB THOMAS)

4. WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS (FEAT. INDIA ARIE AND YO YO MA)

5. PHOTOGRAPH (FEAT. CHRIS DAUGHTRY)

6. BACK IN BLACK (FEAT. NAS)

7. RIDERS ON THE STORM (FEAT. CHESTER BENINGTON)

8. SMOKE ON THE WATER (FEAT. JACOBY SHADDIX)

9. DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY (FEAT. PAT MONAHAN)

10. BANG A GONG (FEAT. GAVIN ROSSDALE)

11. LITTLE WING (FEAT. JOE COCKER)

12. I AINT SUPERSTITIOUS (FEAT. JOHNNY LANG)

13. FORTUNATE SON (FEAT. SCOTT STAPP)

14. UNDER THE BRIDGE (FEAT ANDY VARGAS)

And for the other news………..

ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME: And the Nominees Are…

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced its nominees for possible induction next March. They are Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, Chic, Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Donovan, Dr. John, J. Geils Band, LL Cool J, Darlene Love, Laura Nyro, Donna Summer, Joe Tex, Tom Waits and Chuck Willis.
The inductees will be announced sometime in the next few weeks. The 26th annual induction ceremony will take place on March 14th at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York. –Sal Cirrincione

Tuesday, September 28th
CD RELEASES:

Halford Made of Metal
Kenny Wayne Shepherd Live in Chicago
Slash: Deluxe Edition
Soundgarden Telephantism: Deluxe Edition
Rob Zombie Hillbilly Deluxe Two: Special Edition

MUSIC DVD RELEASES:

AliceCooperTheatre of Death: Live at Hammersmith 2009
Rush Classic Albums 2112 and Moving Pictures
Slipknot (sic)nesses
Various artists The 25th Anniversary Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concerts (3 DVDs)

Bye!!

Jolene