12/30/09

So as I write this we are at #63 for KISW’S Top 999 Countdown.  It’s went by to fast this year.  I believe Steve Rock will be wrapping it up tonight. 

Speaking of wrapping up things….ahem’ 2009 that is. I would like to give you a list of some rad things of 2009 for me.  (In no patic order.)

AIC at The More, AIC listening party, acoustic EMP Show.  AIC’s Black Gives Way To Blue.

My Mick Mars interview.  Meeting Ronnie James Dio. Meeting Tony Iommi (again)

My holiday to Tucson/family renunion etc.

Epic bb’q’s nearly every Sunday this summer.

Taco truck fun with Mastodon.

My birthday party at The Feedback Lounge.

Celebrating 3 years with my fella.

Managing to keep my head above water as Night Jock, Music Director and Host of Loud And Local!

Goodnight!

Jolene

12/29/09

2009 nearly done and over with!  The Top 999 Countdown is going by way fast this year!  I don’t mind working this time of the year as it’s kinda chill and I get caught up on stuff I may have forgotten amist the chaos of the holidays.

So last night I went and saw Avatar in 3D at the Neptune in the U District.  What a great movie!  Touching story…..and the effects!!  I highly suggest it.  Great escapeism (sp….is that a word? ha!) movie! 

Did you hear about the passing of Avenged Sevenfold drummer Jimmy “the Rev” Sullivan?  Last night at his home in Huntington Beach CA.  I’ve hung/interviewed/had cocktails with him over the years….really nice guy.  Whatta shame. 

I gotta boogie!

Jolene

“Hola Father Timeolas,

This was our last show of 2009 and like everyone at the end of any given year we can’t help but think back to all that has happened in the past 12 months.  Yea, there’s the stuff we all know; dumb celebrity stuff, dumb political stuff or sports crap or technology crap, etc, but there’s also the personal stuff, the stuff that actually has something to do with YOU.  Maybe you had your first kid or got married, or maybe you finalized your divorce and you got to play the field again.  Maybe you were diagnosed with an illness you don’t or maybe you were given a clean bill of health.  Maybe you just discovered the illicit joys of illegal narcotics this year… or maybe you’re celebrating your first year clean, or your first attempt to stop smoking or maybe, just maybe you turned 21 and finally got to enjoy a beer legally.  We all have our own accomplishments, milestones and disappointments, and today we wanted you to share your story:  WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO THANK FOR 2009 AND WHO IS YOUR PERSON OF THE YEAR?

I’ve gotta thank everyone who reads this blog or listens to our show.  Without you, there is no us and we can’t explain the depth of our gratitude.  Sure, you have terrible taste, but I’m glad we’re here to satisfy your low expectations.

On a personal note, I have to thank my wife for another year of putting up with me.  You see, there’s this misnomer out there that I’m NOT aware of how big of a pain in the ass I am… but I’m very aware of it, I just choose not to do anything about it.  That being said, my wife puts up with my endless idiocy with no complaints… just the occasional rolling of the eyes.  The woman is a saint… although I could do without the 8 am, ‘what do you want for dinner’ question, but, whatever.

Alright then, here are the people you’d like to than or honor form 2009:

The escort he’s been visiting in Canada for the last year and a half

Wants to thank his dad for helping with $$$ when times were tight

His wife for ‘holding down the fort’ while he was serving in Iraq… he just got back in August and is having a hard time readjusting to civilian life

Got married this year (congrats) and wants to thank her husband

Wanted to thank us, the Men’s Room, for helping cure his road rage and making him laugh.  Thank you, kindly

Young woman wanted to thank her mother for helping out with her new born kid

Wants to thank the doctor that gave him his vasectomy this year

Ben the Psycho Muppet for keeping the rest of us in line

Wants to thank the Everett Fire Department for helping to extinguish the house fire that claimed his home in September… unfortunately they couldn’t save his medical marijuana crop in the attic.  Can’t win ‘em all.

Wants to thank everyone serving our country, as in military and civil servants

Alice in Chains for releasing a kick ass album, playing a handful of kick ass local shows and for going on tour

Alright bitches, time for me to hit the (long) road for the year.  Like I said at the top, thanks to all of you who make our show possible.  Never enjoyed doing anything more than I enjoy doing this and you’ve all been gracious enough to allow us to do this for the last 4 years, and for that, I have to say, “what the f**k is wrong with you people?”

I hope you all had a really good 2009.  I turned 40 this year and didn’t feel bad about it, so I chalk this past year up to a victory.

Have a tremendous holiday and we’ll be back on the air on Monday, January 4th, 2010.  Until then, do what you do best, and I mean what YOU do best, and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

“Hola historianolas,

With 2009 coming to a close, it’s that time when we all review all of the things that happened this year.  10 members of Congress resigned, 200 million people joined Facebook, there were 52 executions, 378 Presidential speeches, 900 new McDonald’s opened while 350 McDonald’s closed, “Boom- Boom- Pow” was the most downloaded song, Chris Brown punched Rihanna, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Brittney Murphy all unexpectedly dropped dead, we learned of people named Balloon Boy and Octo- mom, we found out that Lady Ga- Ga just might have a penis and that Tiger Wood’s has put his penis in the loins of white women across the country.  Really though, 2009 wasn’t much different than most years; there were the standard number of scandals and deaths and fads, but 2009 is just part of a larger body of work that is the first decade of the new millennium.  How do you think the first decade will be remembered?  Will 9/11 be the defining moment, or the rise of Facebook, Twitter and Youtube?  Will it be remembered for the economic collapse, the influence of the blogosphere or the election of the first black American President?  Will we remember the influx of pseudo celebrities, the rise of i- tunes or wardrobe malfunctions?  As Kennedy would say, ‘history will be the final judge of our deeds’, but we wanted to know what you think history will judge us on?  WHAT EVENT, INVENTION OR FAD DO YOU THINK WILL DEFINE THE DECADE, AND WHAT WILL YOU REMEMBER MOST?

Obviously, 9/11 will be etched in my brain forever.  Living on the East Coast at the time of the attacks definitely drives the images and fallout from it home.  It also (obviously) led to our current wars that have raged for most of the decade, but I truly believe that historically speaking, 9/11 will be on par with how Pearl Harbor affected America.  I don’t think it will come to define the decade, but will be regarded as an unquestionable catalyst of change.  I think the decade will be defined in 2 ways; as the decade of economic collapse (a la Great Depression) and the rise of wireless.  But what the f**k do I know?

Here are some of the things you’ll remember most… for better or for worse:

Social networking

Michael Jackson

The Snuggie… which we’re equating to the pet rock; a stupid idea that will run it’s course in a few years

Texting and sexting

Wireless everything

9/11

Sex tapes as an audition for show biz

American Idol

The two- front war

“2 Girls 1 Cup”… ‘nuff said

Google

Oxy’s and all of the other legal drugs that the feds allow to poison everyone

Rise of the ‘cougar’… the new sexual revolution

The acceptance of tattoos… finally

“Going green” and the green movement

Honorable mentions include; i- pods, ‘wardrobe malfunctions’, Bernie Madoff, Enron, Hurricane Katrina (and the pathetic Federal response), Wikipedia, “reality” TV, and the eventual release of Guns and Roses’ “Chinese Democracy”, the emergence of mixed martial arts, etc.

It’s hard to know how history will choose to remember this decade, but after the obligatory revisions and how decisions done in this decade evolve into the next, it’ll be interesting to share what we know, or what we THINK we know, with the future generations that are bound to ask about it.

The day is gonna come when your kids or your grandkids are gonna ask you about this decade, and if you’re like me, you’re fully prepared to lie.  I’m gonna tell them that this was the decade of free sex and drugs, like the 60’s.  Inevitably I’ll be asked why no one else described the decade the same way and I’ll explain that everyone else did it wrong.  Can’t wait.

I’ll leave you with that incredibly poignant thought.

Until tomorrow, jingle all the way and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

We do it at the end of every year.  Our Top Whatever We Feel Like of 2009.  Usually it’s the Top 20 or Top 25.  At any rate, it’s coming up THIS WEEK on Metal Shop.  There were tons of great metal albums released this year.  A few of my personal favorites were Crack the Skye by Mastodon, Those Whom The Gods Detest by Nile, Heart of Darkness by Burnt By The Sun (sleeper album of the year… had no idea it was even good, much less AWESOME when I heard it the first time).

What were YOUR favorite albums of the year?  E-mail us ( kevin at kisw.com or  steverock at kisw.com) or Facebook us, or leave a comment on this blog and tell us what needs to be on our countdown this week!  We set up our list based on the most requested and asked for albums, with a little sprinkling of personal preference thrown in for good measure.

As for me and my #1 album of the year… well it’s not even metal.  Simon Posford is my favorite musician of all time and his main project, Shpongle, put out their fourth album this year after a very long 4 years since the last one.  Needless to say I was very excited to hear this.  Shpongle’s music is nearly indescribable, spanning just about every kind of sound you can imagine.  Lots of worldly rhythms, plenty of huge grooves that will make you dance without realizing it, crazy sound effects that will completely tweak your brain and it’s perception of what it’s trying to process.  It’s difficult to explain, so I’ll just give you their artist’s own interpretation which I think sums it up pretty well:

“Dongle and Mongle are the only two other words rhyming with Shpongle…a strange hybrid of electronic manipulation and shamanic midgets with frozen digits squeezing the envelope and crawling through the doors of perception, find a new pair of dice… extra numbers and colours an infinite expanding bubble, filled with a bizzare, strange world of dripping halucinatory wallpaper, a garden of earthly delights……….. Shpongleland….. a place of well being, and reflective surfaces, morphing like an Anacondas skin and shimmering like a million colour changing squid, at fifty fathoms.. truly unfathomable like seperating water from it’s wetness, the Ineffable Mysteries unweave …..”

If you’ve got 10 minutes to spare check out a track from the album.  It’s called “Shpongolese Spoken Here” and it’s very glitchy through the first half and chilled out with a big ol dub beat in the second half.  The second half is my favorite part of the entire album.

Let us your favorite albums of the year!  The countdown is THIS WEEK!

-Kevin

Click here for the butt sniffing video.

“Hola poor judgmentolas,

Amanda Knox was found guilty of murder and sentenced to 26 years in an Italian prison; nevertheless, shopkeepers in the town of Assisi, located near the prison, have collected all kinds of Christmas gifts for her.  They got her books, chocolates and a Christmas tree, among other things… just what every convicted murderer needs.  Then again, Charles Manson has pen pals.  Local anti- hero, Colton Harris- Moore, the 18 year old Camano Island guy suspected of committing nearly 100 burglaries in Washington, Idaho and Canada has a fan club on Facebook with over 8000 members.  Not to be outdone, Vince Neil, Brandy and Laura Bush have EACH killed someone as a direct result of their poor driving.  One of them continues to be the front man for one of the most successful bands in rock history, one continues to put out albums and do guest appearances on TV and the other got to spend 8 years as the First Lady of the most powerful nation on Earth.  Mike Tyson was convicted of rape, for God’s sake, and he just appeared on ‘Saturday Night Live’ this past weekend, as well as a cameo in “The Hangover”, the biggest comedy of 2009.  Maybe it’s an American phenomenon, maybe it’s inherent in human nature, but we always seem to find a way to like scum bags.  It’s what we do:  EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE A SHADY INDIVIDUAL, I STILL HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR _____________.

Honestly, I pretty much am indifferent to ‘celebrity transgressions’.  Maybe I’m a cynic (no ‘maybe’ about it, I’m a cynic) or maybe it’s a condition of being a fan of rock music (and the derelict musicians that inhabit them) but I just assume that all celebrities are up to no good.  Well, it’s not that they’re ‘up to no good’, it’s more that I assume that their personal lives are a f**ked up mess.  Nine times out of ten I’m right and frankly, I don’t care.  I don’t deal with ANY of these people on a personal level so it’s of little interest to me what they do in their spare time.  I don’t know if that’s always been the case, but with so much oversaturation of what every celebrity does every second of every day, I’ve definitely gotten to the point that I just don’t care any more.  The truth is, outside of what these people do specifically for a living, they’re really not that interesting.  Ever hear an interview with Tiger Woods?  It’s like listening to someone chew aluminum foil, but less interesting.  How about Charlie Sheen?  He’s like an angry 13 year old, but not as entertaining.

Aw, who cares what I think?  Here are the people you like in spite of themselves.

Gary Ridgeway, the f**king Green River Killer!!!  Used to know the guy from the neighborhood and swears he’s a nice guy… other than the whole serial killing thing

Dennis Rodham… never bothered me; the guy just does what he does, all of it is stupid and none of it matters

Allister Crowley

Men

His mother- in- law… even though she had hidden baby monitors in her house to eavesdrop

Marty Pang- a guy who set fire to his parents warehouse and ended up killing 4 firemen

Jose Canseco

Adolph Hitler (???) says he had charisma… I’ll just leave that one alone

Ted “the Uni- bomber” Kazinski… wife’s family used to live next door to him in Montana.  They talk about him as one of the “nicest” people in the community.  They even affectionately refer to him as ‘Uncle Ted’.  WTF?!?

Penn Gillette… in spite of being a loud and obnoxious jackass, he finds his directness refreshing

Carlo Gambino… a murderous, money laundering mobster.  Why do people just love mobsters so much?  Never understood.

Pete Rose

Mary Kay Letourneau… hell, she paid her debt to society and contrary to what ALL of us believed at the time when she first made headlines, she’s still with this ‘kid’ she took ‘advantage’ of.

Tiger Woods

Most of the people mentioned were what we expected, but we opened the show with the call about Gar Ridgeway, followed by Adolph Hitler.  That was a little heavier than what we were expecting, but what can you do?

OK, we’ve been drinking again… this time to sample Bacon Vodka, a new local vodka that, well, tastes like bacon.  It really does too.  Sven, Stefan and Marshall (the three proprietors of Bacon Vodka… not the owners of Ikea) stopped by today to let us try some of their new creation and honestly, it’s delicious.  I’ll put it this way; I HATE bloody Mary’s.  It’s nothing personal, but tomato juice tastes like vampire bat pee to me, however, these bloody Mary’s were awesome.  Seriously.

Alright bitches, I’m ouuta here.

Until tomorrow, ho- ho- home is where the heart is, so STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

“Hola gimme the giftolas,

Christmas.  Chanukah.  Kwanza.  It’s the holiday season.  Tonight is the last night of Chanukah and next Friday is Christmas Day as well as the first day of Kwanza.  Oh, and women with hairy armpits will be celebrating the Solstice with their pony- tailed boyfriends.  While there seems to be some kind of controversy every year at this time about the true meaning of the season, or the over commercialization, or the right to display certain decorations, or where certain decorations can be placed, etc, we decided to deal with the cold, hard reality of the holiday season; GIFTS.  It’s all about gifts.  You can go to Mass, you can light candles, you can sing songs, and you can pretend that you’re a decent person, but in the end, it’s all about the gifts, so with that in mind, we wanted to know:  ASIDE FROM SEX AND WITHIN REASON, WHAT IS THE GIFT YOU’D LIKE TO GET THIS YEAR… BUT PROBABLY WON’T?

Honestly, I don’t really want anything for Christmas.  While I am notoriously an a**hole, the truth is, one of my favorite things is giving gifts.  Getting people things they want always makes me feel good… and kind of atones for my many, many transgressions throughout the rest of the year.  That’s what I tell myself, anyway.

Here are the reasonable gifts you’d like this year but know damn well you won’t:

A new PS3

Sexy outfits for the bedroom… her husband doesn’t see the point… and her husband is obviously a f**king idiot

Wants a French bulldog… oui, oui

Wants/ needs a new computer

Hoping his father- in- law survives heart surgery.. that’s tough

A new shower head… she wants to stimulate her naughty bits… and her husband, like the husband of the woman above who wants lingerie, doesn’t get why

Wants a job… lost his job after 16 years… god luck to you, my friend

Wants/ needs lower back surgery

Wants a white Christmas… sadly, he meant cocaine (seriously) not snow

A new Zune

New bowling bag

Mariner’s season tickets

A new digital camera

A new cell phone…  which, really, is a new digital camera

A new i- pod

An engagement ring from her boyfriend of 3 years

Pierced nipples

That pretty much sums it up.  I hate that there are people out there that need a job.  That really gets under my skin.  If you got fired because you’re a d*ck, so be it, but if you’re at the mercy of the current economic situation, I feel for you and truly hope the new year brings you gainful employment.

BAD JOKE FRIDAY
With Tiger Woods and the holidays all the rage right now, I’ll share with you the holiday joke currently making the rounds:  What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?  Santa stops at three ‘ho’s’.

Enjoy your weekend, bitches.  We’ll be back next week through Wednesday.

Until Monday, do what you do best and STYA BEAUTIFUL!”

Happy Holidays everyone! have a safe time, and we will see you in 2010. We will be back live on Monday, January 4th, and be sure to listen at 6:50 AM as we will have Hulk Hogan back on the show to talk about TNA wrestling going to war with the WWE on Monday nights.  We will be sure to ask him about what WWE Superstar CM Punk said about Hogan, as well as TNA, when we had him on.

Day 875 (12/18/09) Tara Reid Rules

Today is our last day before we head off for Christmas vacation! See ya in 2010 bitches!!!!!

Today we had Tara Reid on…Tara was on to promote her pictorial in Playboy…she did it to prove that she doesn’t have a strange-boob and a weird tummy anymore. I have to say…Tara was an awesome guest, she was real cool & willing to joke around with us, she talk about her boobs, she her past, her cooking skills, and she looks great in Playboy!

The quote of the interview…when talking about her infamous moment where her breast pops out, her statement was: “it’s just a boob,  it’s not like a gun popped out & I was shooting people.”

I was stoked to chat with Tara, as she ruled in the Big Lebowski:

She got a kick out of my intro where I mentioned that I’d like to blow on her toes!

She seems to have won over some people thanks to that interview…as we got a few emails:

Man how happy did she sound that she actually wasn’t being beat up.  Kudos to you guys, she doesn’t deserve the crap shes gone through.
Mikey

All I new of her was the boob thing which I thought was contrived.
After this interview, she is AWESOME!
Steve

This morning BJ brought up some video he watched called Indian Jingle Bells…here is that video:

This morning we played all of the best clips from the year…Here are the results so far for the Best That We Could Do For 2009:

SEGMENT OF THE YEAR
#5 — The PLP is given a life lesson by BJ (February)
#4 – Alan Wants to be a T-Shirt Model (February)
#3 – Charles Laquedera calls in (October)
#2 – STP Sings Twisted Sister (October)
#1 — Vicky Barcelona Gets Lost (July)

CALL OF THE YEAR
#5 — Rugnor calls in to talk about a road trip (August)
#4 – Layla Calls In (August)
#3 – Mad Dog Mike Snorts his mom’s ashes (August)
#2 – Bunny Talks to Mono-Nick (December)
#1 – Treenun calls in to talk about sexual fantasies (October)

BEST INTERVIEW
#5 – Quentin Tarantino  (August)
#4 – Hulk Hogan  (November)
#3 – Kevin Smith  (May)
#2 – Chris Kattan (August)
#1 — Bobby Lee (October)

BEST INTRO
#5 – Scott Stapp
#4 – Jon Brockman (January)
#3 – Nate Burleson (May)
#2 – Flavor Flav (February)
#1 – Kofi Kingston & Mickie James from the WWE (February)

BEST BIT
#5 – Rob Quattro’s Seahawks Rally Song (October)
#4 – Crazy Sheri Raps (November)
#3 –Tiger Woods Calls Toppy (December)
#2 – View From The Shelf – At The Performance Grill
#1 – Lil’ Mick’s Ricker impression (November)

Today’s Video Blog features a couple of cool gifts the guys got…Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!

Here is the same VLOG for you iPHONE people:

12/17/09

Neil Diamond covers Adam Sandlers classic

The Chanukah song?  It’s very festive, makes me

wish I was Jewish!  One day closer to KISW’S

Salute The Sheild….I’m nervously awaiting the

final items for the silent auction.  If your a Pearl

Jam or AIC fan check it out some killer stuff indeed1

Two new challengers for the Loud And Local Cockfight

takeover tonight. Your Divine Tragedy lost by just

a few votes to SYFT.  See both of them tomorrow night

for The Headbangers Holiday at El Corazon!  Also the

Crying Spell will be featured as BJ Shea’s Loud And

Local Band Of The Week tomorrow am.

Don’t know about you guys but the last 3 weeks have

been brutal TOTES! Here’s hoping things slow down

next week as I’ve done NONE of my christmas shopping!

I’m gunna let ya’ll go. Stay warm and have a great

night!  Mwah Jolene